Canada Post... send me some poontang!!

GOD DAMMIT!

After quitting that ignoramical Japanese I am so F'n lonely....

I remember the only reason I took that class was to meet chinkers.
Well... let me just say that this big-digger was too much to handle.... you can't handle this jelly cause im so bootylicioususu!

SO I called those terrorists at Canada-Post and demanded they send me their finest fhilly... and by filly I mean Filipina.
They must have been having some phone issues because I lost the connection jesus christ!!

So since I have this here intermanet- I think it's time I archaeologically explored my search results in order to find the hottest piece of yellow ass God created for ME.

So let's go over some of these fine specimens:

I'm torn between two hot women:

First is Krystal Gay:
Woo doggy- now look at that thing. She must live in some kind of spacial vortex near the tsunami... but that's okay--
She's 19- that is my dating age, I try not to go over that there age.
Her English is marked as (Very Good)-- now that is a surprise because my English is rated as (Somewhat Disgruntled, poor pronunciation), Inteligement women is a hot thing.
Her weight is ideal... she weights nothing according to her website- perhaps it has to do with living in the vortex- but I prefer my women to weigh nothing.

Let me tell you Krystal- I don't mind my women gay at all... so we can do them 3somes and shit-- I gotta try that before I loose my youth.

Best of all... she says :Hi! You can Trust me... -- well baby cakes, you had me at "Hi!".

Okay onto the next Bitchosuru:

OH mother of mercy- this next girlie is THFJTSAFTL! (Too Hot For Jon To Stare At For Too Long!)


Her name... is Jing, and she is from China.

God! I love the name Jing, and I can't figure out why!?
Her special message to me: May I have luck to find my life companion in the cook year of China... Cook year??? COOK - You mean COCK you dumb chinker and if you keep playing the dumb card that is just what I'm going to give you- Some white superior to your race COCK!.

Now I got my blood-penile pressure up!! oh jeebus! Now it says here she is 47- but using my skills I've deduced it's really a spelling mistake (like cook) and Jing is really only 17, the perfect jontasmic age of consent.

What she wants: I hope to meet: Personally he is clean, regular, gentle, kind, honest, work hard, responsible, loving, generous, one woman man.

First of all, HOW DARE YOU! I AM clean you stupid broad...I got rid of those shingles.... and Regular, I go at least twice a day. Some women expect EVERYTHING.

Well the only problem with Jing is I still feel something is missing... Hmm Jing....

Oh well the escapade continues...as I seek my dream hoe to clean my buspass and make me food.