...Speaking of Sex Tapes!!!

Well those internets have done it.... after reviewing my review that ebaum jew stole my sex video and put a clip of big jon on the web... let me tell you this is the gold standard for all self-sex tapes. I give it an 11.326 out of 10.... Yeah it's that good- a little bit of my ancient aramaic dance moves to some hot rap track just blows the clothes off the 16 and under!!

Woo I'm so hot-- production value is a 20... me shaving my beard took 12 years off my age!

Fellers... I suggest not watching this because you are guaranteed to turn gay for me.... sorry.

Well Bratz here is the cure for menopause Jon style

Sex tape round up!

I found some new stuff in my kazzer puss puss jonloaded files! So, here it goes in Jonobetical order.

Fred Durst Sex Tape

Verdict: His Limpbizkit is no quite so limp! A good preformace by the cock. Where the fuck is the cum shot! And how is this girl! Where are the hotboys! Or Baby bratz! This bitch is like 20!

5/7 Jon burgers

Bam Margarinera:

Verdict: Where the fuck is the pene-a-tration! This sucked. Viva la Bam, more la where the fuck is the action.

0.234*/67 Don vito's

*amount of cock in action I saw

One Night in Paris

Verdickt: I am surprized Rick Salmons big ticket wasn't sliced up my her sharp face. Her tits look twelve, so its a pass.

6/8 of rick's inches

Tonya harding: The Hardening

Verdict: This video needs to get nancy keriganned

15/100 years of a life time ban

Pam and Tommy:

Verdict: The Adam and Eve of sex tapes. Good tits, good sets, great cock, bad tattoos and a humourous story line. Needs more underage 14 somes, but hey this was the shit in 1994. Sold almost as many as My NAMBLA mega mix. Hats of to the big couple. I bought this on vinyl when it first came out.

10/11 years of Pam-o-tom-oliciousness!


Black Woman Fucks A horse:

needs further review...

Jonz bratz baybz!

The baby girls with a sense of so fucking hot! Normally, The Jonnanor 6001 MarkII does not go for such chicanery with mizpillded naymz but HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLY SHIT. I usually feel guilty about going this low on the old age-0-meter, not today. I have reached a new low...and high! It's like they took all the hotnizz in the rain bow and shrunk into multi-ethnic, pan-hottolicious bite size chunkz of wow! Mmmm, jon will be occupied for the next 5 mins. SOOOOOO FUCK OFF YOU JAPO COMMUNISTS! It's wankin season and i have a hankering for a wankering!

mmmmm bratz babyzzzzzzz.

click the like chinkies!

Let down of the century!

Wow! Big digger just got not so big after stumbling on to the japo crapo.

Reasons why Jon is disapointed:

1. PAY FOR PORN! I got 28.8k modem! so fast i ran out of porn in January! It's all on my....heh....hard drive. My C;\! GET IT! haha, sest riche mon amis!

2. CLOWNS!!!!! AAAAAAAARG! might as well be sock puppets! I had to use a 10 foot clown pole to reset the Jonputer

3. It was more like formerly mentally unstable and now well balanced thanks to exercise and a health diet (no drugs, tom cruisazy says no to drugs and yes to L RON)

4.PAY FOR PORN!

5. Waste of Faygo (aka god's urine. everytime i round 8 mile i chug a faygo)

6 WHAT IS A JUggle Ho?

7.plastic titties?! only on my real doll!

8. All look no touch

9. 9/11 jopkes abesnt, must be terrerists, so i reporded it to my ol' buddy G W spot.

10. Yeah, that's right asshole


http://www.insaneclownpussy.com/

I am Diabetic, but i still whipped out my KY jelly

I am in Love!


hehehhe!

Jon out!


Expect a post on penis burns from friction! http://www.hobosexual.com/


go! go! go! go! go! go! go!

this bear goes gurrrrrrrrrr!

What I did after the "Great Escape"

I bought a car with a $20 I found floating in the Saint Lawrence after escaping Guttanimo Gay. I thought gee, maybe Big Dig (my street name) could use a sporty new ride. I got the Idea from that Commie Channle MTV (masoinic Telle visor). So while attaching a Big Muffler to my car, my pants fell down (damn extension cord belt) and my penis fell out, got hard and landed in the pipe. I got stuck! i tried to remove it repeatedly by thrusting; I came. I have been in the garage ever since.

Right now, I am getting a Philipino hooker, a sandwhich, 3 carrots, a cucumber, lube and a screw driver. I got a really good idea.


again: http://blackroses.textfiles.com/sex/sex-cars.faq


Jon Out



or is it in?

heh