PSP is for People (with) Small Penis!

HOLY Jesus H shit! I cannot believe kids these days using Dr. Cooper's Cellular tele-switch 2-way communications microwave radio device! Just like food all these gizmos are shrinking faster than Regis Philbins penis!! Back in the day when I first met Dr. Cooper he stole the idea for the so called "cell-phone" from ME!!! Back in the day I had a complicated system of carrier pigeons, and serbian raised russian hamsters-- Basically how it worked was when I need to harrass someone and find out where they were, I would perform a series of complex hand gestures before these animals using the techniques I learned after being the only Canadian to go to Vietnam and be captured-- I was taught these techniques by a Viet Cong general named Pholang Duan-- The inventor of the popular food "Pho"... anyway I dont want to get off track-- but the basically the carrier pigeons would carry the hamsters to the person I requested-- then drop the serbian raised russian hamsters on my friend-- the hamsters would attack the person and I would follow the screams in order to make plans and give a bevy of harrasing questions. SO that jerk stole my idea, but instead using microwaves which are even more deadly than hamsters! Speaking of stealing gadgets-- back when I was digging in the Russian mountains to find some more russian hamsters for my wireless communications system-- I came upon a small village, in that village they played a game... that game was pretty basic it involved dropping large Ice-blocks from the top of the mountain, when they completed a line of blocks someone near the bottom shot the ice-blocks and cleared the line-- sound familiar? You should know it-- it was originally called "Uncle Jon's Escape from the Monkey Egg Princess"-- but when the Nintenjews got their hands on it (and stole it) they renamed it Tetris. I had invented a portable system to play my new game... I called it the Uncle Jon's Acid battery driven portable entertainment system, UJABDPES for short.
It was Jon sized-- perfect for portable gaming-- It was powered by 50 Radio Vacume tubes which I charged with a car battery. Those Japanese with their small penii were totally offended and ashamed by the sheer Jon sized beauty of the UJABDPES so they stole it- used some ninjas on me and shrunk it to match their miniscule man-meat. Of course with my stolen game, and my stolen system those Japs made quadrillions of dollars. Those damn Ninjas they threw pepper in my eyes and made me drink sake until I gained 50 pounds and couldn't escape in my drunken stupor. Well anyway the moral of the story is the size of the gadgets you use is evidence of the size of your penis, don't trust japs... and if a Ninja is coming after you, just shoot him in his jesus hating anti-lutheran head!!