Jon Wars Episode Three
I haven't posted in a while because I have been really busy with my latest reflected picture story called Star Wars Episode 3. You may have heard of it-- Many of the fans remember my movie debut, I get a lot of fan mail and pussay when people find out my illustrious acting career and my famous Cocacaine snuffing pals, like George Lucas... So you still don't remember my Character? Click the pic below to refresh your memory god dammit!
Yes that's right!! I played myself-- now the name Jabba comes from one of my favorite bands Abba... the J is for Jon and I live in a Hut in the forest where the illuminati can't track my bowl movements. So for those who didn't know... the big secret is out-- It was a huge role for me, and I also had a lot of influence on the direction of star-wars because Lucas is one of my best friends, and is also part of my Ottawa Gentleman's club.
This is Me and George having a Vodka-candle lit discussion. He dropped the Droid bomb and outed C3P0-- I was so shocked I felt a little bit of excrement poke out!
I hate to brag (okay I lied I love bragging!!) But I am going to be in Episode 3, I inspire george by my manly physique, my language skills-- I will be the best Jabba ever!
Now let me throw in some spoilers:
1. Episode 3 is really one giant metaphor for terri schaivo- with Anakin representing pro abortion, baby killing jews... and yoda represents my inner desire for pizza.
2. I fucked princess "Lay me" Leia in Episode 6-- it's on the DVD outakes in a secret menu-- just add my waste size and the number of nipples on my body-- type it on the remote and hit menu... You can see the whole sensual journey that George cut for a more thematic approach to the chained up princess scene.
3. We actually filmed the movies in order, but travelled back to the golden era of cinema (the late 70's) to release them... which means in a few years I will get to star in episode 4 after it's already been released!! pretty cool eh.
4. Yoda is a midget from new jersey, who became green after mixing New Coke with absolute vodka.. we can't explain it-- but all we know is that he is the damn finest actor on earth.
5. C3P0 is gay... Which makes him evil... details to be released in episode 7 when Jesus comes down to fight darth vadar during Armageddon and C3P0 is the gay robotic anti-christ!!
6. Natalie Portman is a fat, ugly bitch who can't act... stupid cunt also tried to eat my Krispy Kreme!
7. Star Wars is Real!!
Okay well I am going down to sign autographs at endless line ups across the almighty America! Look for the White Van with the Jabba sign, smoke machine, and laser show!
and remember we must protect the Republic(can party) from anyone who wishes to destroy it! Jedi-Out!
Yes that's right!! I played myself-- now the name Jabba comes from one of my favorite bands Abba... the J is for Jon and I live in a Hut in the forest where the illuminati can't track my bowl movements. So for those who didn't know... the big secret is out-- It was a huge role for me, and I also had a lot of influence on the direction of star-wars because Lucas is one of my best friends, and is also part of my Ottawa Gentleman's club.
This is Me and George having a Vodka-candle lit discussion. He dropped the Droid bomb and outed C3P0-- I was so shocked I felt a little bit of excrement poke out!
I hate to brag (okay I lied I love bragging!!) But I am going to be in Episode 3, I inspire george by my manly physique, my language skills-- I will be the best Jabba ever!
Now let me throw in some spoilers:
1. Episode 3 is really one giant metaphor for terri schaivo- with Anakin representing pro abortion, baby killing jews... and yoda represents my inner desire for pizza.
2. I fucked princess "Lay me" Leia in Episode 6-- it's on the DVD outakes in a secret menu-- just add my waste size and the number of nipples on my body-- type it on the remote and hit menu... You can see the whole sensual journey that George cut for a more thematic approach to the chained up princess scene.
3. We actually filmed the movies in order, but travelled back to the golden era of cinema (the late 70's) to release them... which means in a few years I will get to star in episode 4 after it's already been released!! pretty cool eh.
4. Yoda is a midget from new jersey, who became green after mixing New Coke with absolute vodka.. we can't explain it-- but all we know is that he is the damn finest actor on earth.
5. C3P0 is gay... Which makes him evil... details to be released in episode 7 when Jesus comes down to fight darth vadar during Armageddon and C3P0 is the gay robotic anti-christ!!
6. Natalie Portman is a fat, ugly bitch who can't act... stupid cunt also tried to eat my Krispy Kreme!
7. Star Wars is Real!!
Okay well I am going down to sign autographs at endless line ups across the almighty America! Look for the White Van with the Jabba sign, smoke machine, and laser show!
and remember we must protect the Republic(can party) from anyone who wishes to destroy it! Jedi-Out!
posted by Legendary Aquanaut | 1:25 PM
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